Never Give Up!

NEVER GIVE UP!

 How often have you been told to never give up growing up? 

 How often do you repeat the same message to your children or other people in your community?

 We are so programmed to never give up that we persist and struggle in situations that are detrimental to our physical and mental well-being because we are made to feel like failures if we give up. 

 “Giving up is always an option, but not always a failure.”

- Cameron Conaway, Author

Many end up feeling anxious, depressed and in some extreme situations even contemplating suicide. 

 It’s great to be encouraged to never give up on your dreams, on your relationship, on the job/career. But what if you realise that the dream you have been fighting for was never yours in the first place, that the relationship is toxic and abusive, that the job and work place are leading you towards burnout?

 We are taught that to

Never give up = Resilience

 How true is that? 

 If I think back on my life, and when I reflect on the life stories that some of my clients share, I observe how much distress and unhappiness this seemingly positive message causes. I ended up persisting in situations where giving up would have been the healthier approach. Clients share similar insights. 

“Sometimes it’s better to end something and try to start something new than imprison yourself in hoping for the impossible.”

- Karen Slmansohn, Author

Certainly challenging ourselves, and learning to overcome those challenges does contribute positively to our resilience. However giving up, quitting or letting go is not always negative. Sometimes, and especially if you find yourself in a toxic and manipulative personal or professional environment that is not contributing to your growth and development, giving up and getting out is a sign of emotional health. As the saying goes, not everything is worth fighting for and we need to be selective about choosing our battles. Taking the right action whether it may be giving up, quitting or letting go, to safeguard our mental and emotional well-being, is a sign of resilience. It means that we are brave and mature enough to make a choice about the kind of situation or world we are choosing to live (or work) in.

 Deciding to give up, quit or let go is a sign that you are gaining self-awareness about what you want to retain and what you no longer want in your life. It is what emotionally healthy people do. 

 “It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.”

- Paulo Coelho, Novelist

What are your thoughts? Please share in the comments.