The Strength Of Tears And Laughter

“𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘦𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘱𝘵.”

- Khalil Gibran

I came across the above quote recently and it got me reflecting. 

I do observe that most of us can easily laugh with strangers. While we only weep with those with whom we feel safe, and have a trusting relationship. Perhaps it is because when we weep, we do so in times of emotional distress. In these moments we are showing a part of ourselves we don’t typically share with others, hence making that shared experience with that person unforgettable. 

In addition, we are reluctant to cry in public due to the fact that society has conditioned us that crying is a sign of weakness. This is especially so in cultures that have instilled in us a ‘𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨’ attitude where laughing is permitted but weeping is not. So, when we feel safe enough to let our guard down in front of another, and let them witness our emotional rawness, we create a special bond with that person as they make us feel seen, heard and acknowledged. No wonder they become unforgettable. 

Yet laughter is also an intense emotion, and those with whom we have laughed hard, and with whom we have shared meaningful joy are also unforgettable. Both laughter and tears have their own kind of power to build intimacy, yet the way society frames crying as “𝘯𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦”, and laughing as “𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦” plays into how we perceive both types of experiences. We associate crying with weakness, discomfort or shame, especially if done in public. On the other hand, laughing is linked to happiness, connection, and joy which society tends to value more openly. 

You don’t hear anyone apologising for laughing in public, while many apologise for crying in public. You are perceived as losing control for crying but not for laughing. As a result, crying is often done alone in isolation and is linked to emotions that are not seen by society as acceptable.  Meanwhile laughter is celebrated and viewed as an expression of well-being which is why people feel safer to express it in public. 

Therefore, the moments we cry with someone might seem more meaningful because we are breaking through societal pressures. 

I believe that both the act of crying and laughing with someone are equally profound. They are both a natural release of intense emotions, and it would be great if society stopped celebrating one and putting down the other. This can create a culture where all emotional expression is accepted without shame. 

Hopefully this way we can all feel empowered to be more open and to embrace both our tears and laughter. 

Whether it is through tears or laughter, these moments of emotionally connecting with others are unforgettable. 

What are your thoughts?