7 Tips to Stay Calm in this Frantic Time

Mar 25

Mar 25 7 Tips to Stay Calm in this Frantic Time

Coaching, Counselling, NLP, Transactional Analysis, Tips to stay calm

We all at some point in our lives probably experienced fear and anxiety. At the moment with what has been happening in our world we are all probably worried, anxious and afraid. Some of us might even be experiencing panic attacks. I thought it might be useful to share a few tips that might help you manage your emotions in order to stay more calm and rational in these difficult and unprecedented times.

“If you’re always focused on what you can’t control you’re going to feel overwhelmed. You’re going to feel fearful. You’re going to feel frustrated. You’re going to feel stressed. You’ve got to focus on what you can control, not what you can’t control.” - Tony Robbins, Author, public speaker, life coach.

1- Cognitive technique

As cognitive theories have explained, our feelings reflect our thoughts. So one way of managing how we feel would be to manage our thoughts. Often fear and anxiety result from distorted and illogical thoughts. At the moment we are constantly interpreting what is happening and this process happens without our awareness. Our thoughts just flow through our minds and create powerful and strong positive or negative emotions. Therefore if you were feeling anxious and afraid at the moment then I would invite you to take a step back and check on the kind of things that you are telling yourself. What kind of thoughts are you engaging in that are leading to your feelings of fear and anxiety? Once you become aware of those thoughts then take each thought one at a time and check on how realistic and true it is. What is the evidence if any that supports it? This will hopefully lead you to separate between neurotic fear and healthy fear.

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. “ - William James, philosopher & psychologist

2- Fantasy versus reality

Why is it that some people are more vulnerable to feeling fear and anxiety as compared to others? This relates to your imagination and the fantasies you might be creating that are leading to your fear and panic. One technique that helps bring these fantasies or horror scenarios into your awareness is the “What If” technique. The way it’s done is by starting with a negative thought that you may have and writing it down then you draw an arrow underneath it and ask yourself “what if this were true, what’s the worst thing that can happen?” A new fantasy will pop into your mind. Write it down under the arrow and continue asking yourself the same question and repeat several times until it will lead you to the core fear that is triggering your fears. Knowing your core fear can help you process it and hopefully arrive at a healthier way of managing and thus avoid panic. For example, my daughters are in a different country to me at the moment and my core fear is that one or both of them might get seriously ill and have no one as caring as their mother to look after them. If I stay with this thought it can drive me insane. However, I challenge it with the reality that they are with their partners and friends who are as loving and as caring as myself. This new thought diffuses my fear immediately.

“To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life. “ Jill Bolte Taylor, neuroanatomist, author & public speaker.

3- Compassion technique

The reality is that most of us are kinder to others than we are to ourselves. This technique invites you to talk to yourself the way you might talk encouragingly and kindly to a family member or a friend who is having anxious, depressive and negative thoughts. Be willing to talk to yourself in the same compassionate way that you use with others.

“Choose to be optimistic. It feels better. “ - Dalai Lama, spiritual leader.

4- Virtual community

Stay connected, as physical isolation these days, thanks to technology, does not mean emotional and mental isolation. Use the various means available to you to get in touch online with friends, family, work colleagues and your coach or therapist. There is plenty to choose from: Zoom, Skype, FaceTime, WhatsApp, Messenger, Linkedin, Instagram and so on. Through technology we can be there for each other virtually if not physically and support each other and feel a certain degree of comfort. All my group activities have moved online plus I regularly do a group video call with my daughters and my sisters and feel very happy and comforted after such calls.

5- Mind your language

If there was ever a time to pay attention to your words then it is now. Your brain is always actively listening so make sure your language is clean so you can re-enforce a positive and enabling attitude at all times. We are constantly engaging in self-talk so bring that internal dialogue into your awareness and choose your words carefully. Some words and phrases will enable you and others will bring you down. Instead of saying “Quarantine is going to drive me crazy”, you can say “Now I will have the opportunity to do the re-organising that I never had time to do before”. We are all forced to slow down. Look at this time as an opportunity to start a new hobby like writing or meditating. Engage in a family activity like sorting and looking at old photos. Be creative and use this time to reflect and perhaps make some important changes in the way you have been living your life.

“ A different language is a different vision of life. “ - Federico Fellini, film director & screenwriter.

6- Exercise

We know that regular exercise helps release happy hormones so do it daily. You don’t need a gym as you can do fitness anywhere, even indoors. Dancing, skipping, hoola-hooping , yoga or running up the stairs several times. There are many videos again online that can give you creative ideas on how to stay fit indoors so keep on moving.

7- Humour

Don’t forget to laugh as laughter teaches us something that words can only allude to. When you laugh you stop taking your self so seriously and therefore can see the absurdity of your fears and distorted thinking. Laughter delivers a message of self acceptance as well as acceptance of others. There have been a lot of funny videos and captions being passed around online at this difficult time and some have made me laugh till tears came rolling down my face. Laughter still remains the best medicine!